Trev here. International Scrabble Champion. Professional hand-model. And, of course, kulula’s travel blogger extraordinarey. Today kulula have deployed my skills like a magazine man missile to bring you a special report on the Fancourt Golf Resort in George.

You’ll find this larney biscuit of a golf resort dancing on the feet of the Outeniqua Mountain Range, with not one, not two but THREE Gary Player-designed golf-courses. That’s a lot of Player we’re talking. And as if that didn’t already blow the minds of the golf-obsessed, the resort also has the only tailor-made golf performance lab in Africa (not really sure what it means but it sounds flippin’ cool). You could call this place a ‘golfer’s paradise’, but even a Putt-putt pro like me can appreciate it since it’s not just all tees and bunker beds.

This larney marshmallow-covered biscuit of a 5-star resort has 150 luxury rooms, as well as a whole bunch of themed restaurants, and a VIP lounge at George airport – because that’s how Player player VIPs like me roll. And if you are a luscious laydee player, you get to make yourself prettier than a golf club with its special fluffy sock on it at the Fancourt spa or hair salon. You can also buy yourself a fluffy sock of a dress at the boutique clothing and jewellery shops.

The Presidential Suite, if being the prez is your thing

All you gotta pay to get in on this Playeriffic action is kulula’s special holiday price of R1 646 per person sharing per night, which is a peach compared to the usual R3 940 per person sharing. There’s also entertainment for the little ones, and even the not-so-little, pimpled ones, and just so you can really bond with your family like my hands bond with their special protective modelling gloves, you can also check out the swimming pools, tennis courts, outdoors trails and the mini-cinema. And I haven’t even started on the warm, icing-sugar-coated Marie Biscuit of a beach nearby. Click here to book yourself this fandango of a holiday special.

Boom. Trev.

Trev here. Coming to you from the slightly sunnier Umhlanga Sands Lifestyle Resort. As I write this I’m digging my elegant toes into the sand while typing on my brand new cling-wrapped Macbook Pro – not typing with my toes though mind you! That’s a whole new talent I’ll need to find.

You see the Umhlanga Sands Lifestyle Resort gives a well-rounded coastal holiday experience. It’s all about the balance between the seaside and the poolside. The sunshine and the aftersun lotion.  It is a balance of holiday special times that will make memories for the children and make cocktails for the adults. Just look at it:

Umhlanga Sands. A beautiful thing.

Kulula’s running a special where from just R1 590 per person sharing (based on 1 chalet that sleeps 4), you can get yourself return flight from Joburg to Durbs (incl taxes), 2 nights in a self-catering 2-bedroom apartment, Group J car hirewith 200kms free per day and standard insurance cover, along with a complimentary GPS navigation unit. Click here to book!

Pretty suite.

Reading an offer like that makes me want to snap open my macbook and blog my sand-filled socks off. But remember, this offer is valid for travel until 16 July 2010 for Saturday departures only. Midweek packages available on request, legal stuff applies.

Trev here. Now I know that my life may seem all peachy rose-coloured glass-shaped, but the truth is, I gotta pull a lot of strings behind the scenes to make this puppy dance. Now booking over peak periods is a frustration we know all about, so I though I’d share some of my nifty tricks with you.

1.    When you call the kulula call centre, tell them that you are phoning from the future, and that an asteroid has hit planet earth and you are using the last of the airtime that exists. Explain that if you do not get a seat on your desired flight, you will miss your graduation at NASA, and will be unable to save the world from the asteroid since you will not have obtained your degree. This one almost always works.

2.    Type your name on the booking form as The President Of The World. You’d be surprised at how many people don’t question it, and will merely point out that ‘they did not know the world had a president – how fascinating!’

3.    Hum the theme song to Psycho. Really loudly. If the operator asks you to hum a little softer (because it’s ‘distracting’) be sure to mention where the song is from, a la “Oh you want me to stop humming the theme song to Psycho? Pity that’s my favourite movie. I just think Norman Bates is so misunderstood.” With this one, you need an operator under the age of 40 if they are to get the movie reference, so use it at your discretion.

I know what you’re thinking – some of these suggestions seem to obvious now that I mention them! But that, my bloggalicious backpacking companions, is the sign of a brilliant idea. You give these a spin for their money and you let me know how it runs out.

Howzit my travel-hungry hound dawgs. Trev here. Your man with his ear to his feet on the ground. Your man with his nose on the roses. Your man waving his face in the air like he just don’t care. The ladies love it when I do that. They wave their faces in the air right back.

As you know, I am a man of journeys. Physical journeys, mostly. Okay basically I like to go places. While I was journeying through the internet, I stumbled across this Ricoffee-soaked biscuit of a website called Nomadic Matt run by a oke who fancies himself a bit of a Trevor (just less clever). His name is ‘Nomadic Matt’ and he travels the world writing about it. Kinda like Trev, if by ‘world’ you mean, ‘South Africa and sometimes Mauritius’.

Anyway check his flow for a bit of that ‘man about towns’ vibe. I reckon this is the only guy I know who might know more about stealing free stuff from hotels than I do. Matt, if you’re reading this, I’m your boy Trev and I got a fan fever for you.

Peace. Trevells.

Was-sup my winter weaders. Trev here. Your man on the blogging ground. Your international handmodel with a finger in every cherry blossom apple pie. And today I’ll be dishing the delicious dirt on the Sabi River Sun Lifestyle Resort, which you’ll find on the banks of the Sabi River.

If you stay here, my much-travelled maaitjies, you’ll be in the hot seat for all sorts of exciting activities. If you want to bite the adventure bug while it sleeps in a rug in its bed, you could get in some exploring of local attractions such as the Kruger National Park, Bourke’s Luck Potholes, God’s Window, the Blyde River Canyon and Pilgrim’s Rest.

And if it’s more of a chill that’s your pill to make you feel a mill, then maybe just take some time out and relax next to the river, play a little tennis, a little golf. Just get your unwind on. I did, and it did wonders for my wind. As in, the wind in my sales. I have a way with metaphors – I know.

Why not bake yourself a slice of this action pie? Click here to book yourself a stay at the Sabi River Sun Lifestyle Resort. From R2 253 per person sharing (based on 1 chalet that sleeps 4) you’ll get return flights from Jozi to Kruger Mpumalanga International Airport (including all taxes), 3 nights in a 2-bedroom self-catering chalet, Group J Car Hire with 200kms per day and standard insurance cover.

This deal is valid until 17 July 2010, for Friday departures only. Midweek or full week packages are available on request. As usual, legal stuff applies.

Hey folks, it’s me again. Your resident travellicious trev who loves to travel. The shaman who knows the way of the scrabble chips. The magician who’s got a knack to bushwhack.

First up we’re taking a look at Shiduli Lodge, situated in the heart of the Kruger Park. Folks, this is a special place. If you’ve been dreaming of ‘a home where the buffalo roam’, then Shiduli might just be your lucky day of a dream destination. Because from R3 758 per person sharing, you could get yourself 2 night’s accommodation in this haven of Highveld happiness. Ja, try saying that five times fast.

Caption: The Royal Suite at Shiduli Lodge – the kind of ‘roughing it’ you can expect at Shiduli.

Anyway this deal includes breakfast, as well as return flights (JNB / MQP / JNB) and a standard group J car to rent (that means the car has an engine and a steering wheel). Click here to book.

I’m on the road again to my next Kruger-licious deal, which is one star up from the last gig. Basically, for R4 544,00 per person sharing, you can get yourself 2 nights in the 5-star Imbali Safari Lodge.

Now let me show you what you’re in for at the Imbali Lodge, because it’s quite something.

5-star luxury – just what an international scrabble champion deserves.

I don’t know about you but the first place I’d be hitting if I were here would be that Jacuzzi. I’d crack open a beer and call to the lions with my manly grunting sounds, which many a girlfriend has complimented me on.
“You sound like a lion dying while giving birth,” they say.
“Oh, I know baby,” I’d say, giving them the ol’ Trev Special™ (an eyebrow wiggle I recently trademarked).

But don’t take my word for how incredible this all sounds. From R4 717,00 per person sharing, you get could 2 nights at the Imbali Lodge in the Kruger national park, including all your meals and safari activities, and coming standard with group J car to hire. As well as your return flights (JNB / MQP / JNB).

Click here to get in on this deal. Start practising your lion grunts. You won’t regret it. Trev

Greetings my travellicious friends. Hope you’re all as dandy as this hunk of mancandy (by mancandy I mean ‘me’… no doubt you knew that though). Today we’ll be doing a little more bundu-bashing. And by ‘bundu’ I mean ‘soft fluffy towels’. And by ‘bashing’ I mean ‘lying around in’. It is all happening in the bush though, at the Royal Legend Safari Lodge in the Timbavati Game Reserve, home to the Big Five.

The reason I place emphasis on how soft the towels are is because, for a oke like me, the contrast between the luxury of this joint and the unpolished nature of the bush is quite a vibe. It’s quite a sensation to feel so catered too, yet also feel so raw. Like a caveman with an iPad. Like a ranger with a beepa.

From only R4263,00 per person sharing, you too can feel like a troglodyte with a 3310. This 5-star package includes 2 nights accommodation, all your meals and safari activities, a Group J car to hire and return flights from JNB / MQP / JNB.

Anyway, I’ve been pondering some of life’s deep questions. They say, to really know a man, you have to walk a mile in his shoes. And I’ve been wondering whether this philosophy can be applied to rhinos?

Rhinos. Ag sweet man.

Why rhinos, you ask? Well have you ever seen a rhino with an existential crisis? Do you see what I’m saying here? Which brings us to this week’s bush-whacky adventure, The Rhino Walking Safari at the Kruger National Park.

From only R4353,00 per person sharing, you can experience a 4-star, 2-night experience that mixes up luxury with the trail-walking experience. It lets you get inside the skin – or the shoes – of the animals you have come here to see, without getting your own feet dirty. Well, maybe they will get a little dirty. It’s good to push boundaries sometimes. Come face-to-face with your character in the wild.

Coming face to face with my bed

The deal also comes with all meals included, and various safari activities. You also get a Group J hire car, and it includes return flights from JNB / MQP / JNB. Best you click here and book yourself one of these bushwhacking deals. And to really know what it’s like to walk a mile in a Rhino’s shoes.

Trev here. The beast of the bellyflop, the titan of the turnpike, the Trevor Townsend of Today (and tomorrow) ladies, gentlemen, tweeps and followers…I say unto you…"Howzit?”

You’re getting used to following me through these high flying places across the Southern hemisphere like Mauritius (and to all my ladies speaking Creole I say Bonzour…) and closer to home I hooked you up with the down-low on deals like The Winter Blues Special in Durbs/Cape Town or the very special night at Cape Town’s Fire & Ice Protea Hotel.

Now, I wasn’t even done. I’ve got even more specials for you this month…Get out that leopard skin leotard and join me in the savannah for some amazing times in the wild.

Jatinga Country Lodge

With 2 Nights in 5 Star accommodation in Nelspruit for only R2863.00 per person sharing on a bed & breakfast basis, it’ll take you back to the days of Adam & Eve when all the world was yours to explore. How’s that for lavish?

Return flights from Jo’burg included as well as Standard Group J vehicles cruising you around.

Rhino Walking Safaris

The sights and smells of the great outdoors…get closer to the wild, but only a moment away from luxury at the Rhino Walking Safaris, and for any bargain hunters, this is going to tickle your fancy.

Imagine the majesty (and lions) of Kruger National Park from R43530.00 per person sharing at the Rhino Walking Safari’s 4 Star Lodge. Accommodation – 2 nights, all meals included and standard Group J transport with return flights out of Johannesburg. Talk about a hard deal to say no to…

Don’t know what you’re waiting for…Ready to book? These kinda deals go quick so make up your mind and reserve your Savannah getaway here before they all get snapped up.

You can catch me near the watering hole sometime…with the elephants. I’ll see you there.

Legal stuff applies.

You’re friendly neighbourhood uberblogger Trev here. As a back-to-back Scrabble Champion and a Professional hand-modelista, in between the bubbly, the Russian brides and the brew was the flying to different exotic destinations across the world (and Durban to see Mom) and with lots of flying comes fatigue at times.

Now, to be honest, Trev “Tom Thumb” Townsend’s got a couple secrets to beating the poor circulation, swollen joints and lethargy you might come across when flying. Besides chatting up the air hostesses and getting pinched or slapped for it (that’s one way to get the blood flowing) here’s my guide to keeping your body at its best in the air:

1. Stretch your arm forward and point away from yourself. Then curl your arm back until you grab the back of your head. Proceed to stick out your tongue and lick your elbow three times. (This is the warm-up)
2. Get out your seat. Move into the aisle, point both hands to the sky and point your feet down, arch forward and balance your body weight on your toes. Feel free to let off incoherent Michael Jackson-isms (“Hoo!”, “Ha!” “Ow!” all apply)
3. When it’s safe to take your seatbelt off, take your pinkie finger and begin to rotate it anti-clockwise as you tap your feet to the rhythm of Pink Panther (A great one for hand-eye-foot coordination) Necessary for me if I’m making breakfast while writing a blog post

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves and say you’ll get my good physique overnight, but with a little bit of practice you could be swapping shirts with the best after winning Scrabble tourneys in Kiev. For more of the typical tips on stretching on planes you could probably look here.

Trev here. Frequent Flyer/Cruiser/Coaster of the interwebs and Master Chef of Awesomesauce (note: always serve hot.) Anyway in between cooking up blog posts and rubbing shoulders with lady friends by the beach (or since it’s winter, up in a loft somewhere by a fireplace) I’m roaming the atmosphere from place to place and just this week, I had an epiphany: we both have something in common: flying…and the less glamorous planning for flying.

I was pretty stoked to find out about TripIt, which takes the hassle out of managing the paperwork of a typical trip. We all know how the high life leaves you with a lot of receipts (airline tickets, hotels, restaurants, maps, gold chains, beach balls…well at least the ones related to travel.)

So whether it’s maps, directions, weather or a bunch of other useful travel details, TripIt pulls in your itinerary (all you’ve got to do is email it to them and they automatically put up all your details on one easy-to-use page) So stay up to date on flight changes, check-in times, book restaurants, rent cars, theatre tickets, and share travel plans in groups online all in one snazzy little site.

Works for experienced travellers such as myself, regular patrons of the sky or newbies trying to keep it all together. Trev says tres cool.