Destination: Protea Fire & Ice, New Church and Victoria Street, Cape Town
Stars: ***

When you hear the words Fire & Ice, you think extremes. Well let me tell you, this is an extremely exciting hotel experience. From its extreme name to its extremely exciting lighting, I haven’t been this stimulated by a hotel since that smash hit came out a few years ago about a hotel in California. From the moment I walked in and, was greeted by a friendly suspended pod chair, I knew I was in for one crazy ride.

Every which way you turn in this restaurant, you are greeted with a fiddly little surprise. Why, while I was eating my breakfast, I was amazed to see Khoi fish swimming past the window, which I assumed to be some form of CGI. When I enquired as to whom the hotel’s effects guy is, I was informed that the fish are actually real! I gave the concierge a tip for delivering this piece of extremely exciting information.

When it comes to the cuisine that is on offer, The Fire and Ice hotel really gets the concept of a milkshake. Scoff not, for finding this skill in a hotel is like finding a Sandton Princess at Ronnie’s Sex Shop, ie. one in a seven-hundred thousand and five.

Now, I am not a smoker per se, but I can appreciate a joke about a smoker’s expenses. No doubt you will chuckle your bits off at the coffin chairs where you can seat your smokey bum and puff away to your heart’s contentment, while being reminded of your fate. It is this kind of attention to detail that warms my healthy, non-smoker heart.

To get in on the extreme action that is a stay at the Protea Fire & Ice in Long Street from R2 115.00 per person sharing, click here and you can experience the following:

2 nights accommodation
Return flights  JNB / CPT / JNB
2 Day’s standard Group J car with 200 kms free
Valid until 31 / 05 / 2010